Thursday, November 16, 2006

What I Learned from Killa Season...

I have seen the worst movie of all time. And I learned a few things.

-- Inner-city kids always turn to drug-dealing when they miss game-winning shots.
-- A drug dealer who won't hesitate to split a nigga's wig with a "street-sweeper" in broad daylight will hire urban youths to cover the sound of gunfire with firecrackers in the privacy of a high rise.
-- If you take your niece to Papa John's because she gets good grades, she will be shot.
-- Getting your chain snatched is ten times worse than having your niece shot.
-- Papa John's doesn't care if you sell drugs or split wigs in front of the store.
-- Homicide detectives knock on random black people's doors to investigate disturbances.
-- Drug dealers don't sing at funerals. They rap.
-- All it takes to curb a serious drug addiction is a few classes at the local community college.
-- Drug dealers smoke blunts inside of government buildings.
-- Drive-bys are done on mountain bikes.
-- Black people carry dice on them at all times.
-- If you want to test your "shit", give it to a junkie in the middle of a grocery store and let him snort it.
-- Uncles are bad influences.
-- Weed is a Hyundai and Coke is a Ferrari.
-- A wifey is not a shorty but shorties can be wifeys.
-- Word is bond. Until that nigga fucks your shorty.
-- When shit gets tough, you can always charter a jet to fly you to an Atlanta strip club and subsequently film an impromptu rap video.
-- Junkies can buy a bag of coke, walk away, snort it all, and buy another one in less than eight seconds.
-- If you leave your block for moe than eight seconds, it will be taken over.
-- Taking over blocks consists of standing on the block with your fist in your hand and saying, "Let's take over the block."
-- Police chiefs are easily outwitted by drug dealers who commit crimes during the day every day in the same spots.
-- Every inner-city drug dealer will eventually become a professional rapper.
-- I need to fucking elevate my "fur game".
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