Everything Happens for a Reason...
Fucking tired of hearing this/reading this.
Not to pick on the girls and contribute to the misogynistic undertones of this blog (even though they are completely fucking unintentional), but I'm doing my away-message stalking today and I notice this written in about four different profiles -- all girls. Now, if I remember correctly, these are females who like to e-wear their relationships on their sleeves. For example, previous away messages/profile entries have been to the extent of I LUV BEN!!!1 or Ur just jelous cuz were yong and in luv or Brad 4/2/03 or some shit.
Right now you're probably asking why I have such people on my buddy list. I'm asking the same fucking question. I'd delete them but I'd feel like a loser cleaning house on e-friends. What's the fucking difference anyway? So on we go.
Gone were the bon mots and first pregnancy scare anniversaries. All proclamations of undying love and vows to live like two assholes in a country music song had disappeared, replaced with Rascal Flatts lyrics and EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON. Yes, everything does happen for a reason. That reason is cause. The world is full of cause-and-effect relationships. If I get the shits then it's probably because I ate that funny-tasting burrito. Was it the beans or the gamy meat?
Everything happens for a reason.
Ben left? Maybe you shouldn't have dyed your hair reddish-brownish-blondish. To sit here and delude yourself that he left because it was "in the cards", because that what "God wanted" is fucking laughable. If God gave us free will then why would he feel the need to intervene for some Elementary Ed major from Shitsburg, KY or wherever? By the way, I'm not talking about anybody specific here (you know me; I work chiefly with stereotypes). :)
We reassure ourselves too much. We try to convince ourselves that our fuck-ups, no matter how big or small, are somehow going to benefit us down life's road. If your leg falls off in your sleep, is it a blessing in disguise? Probably not, although exceptions do occur (see Mark Zupan in the movie Murderball).
Shit happens, okay? Shit is not good. That's why it's shit. To sit here and say that shit works in our favor is fucking ignorant and silly and stupid all a once, like a basket full of poison muffins. If Ben leaves you then he leaves you. You may meet somebody better, you may not, but if you do it's not because that's what was "supposed to happen." Tell that to the fucking families of 9/11.
Girl: Your son was supposed to die on that plane. It happened for a reason.
Mother: Bitch, I will fucking kill you for saying that.
One thing's certain though:
If you get your ass kicked, it's for a reason.
posted by Jeff at 9:26 PM
3 Comments:
Aw, man, shit should happen to you more often, Jeff, if it means we get another witty article as a result!
Friend from High School: "Yeah man, I'm still in London (note: southeastern Kentucky). I'm working at my dad's business and about to get married in a month. My girl and I didn't date long, but I got her pregnant and I want to do the right thing."
Me: "Well, that's good man but... you're just a year from graduating college. That sucks!"
Him: "No no, everything happens for a reason man."
Me: "Yeah. You fucked her without a condom, dumbass."
Yes, that was a real conversation. And yes, he's actually QUITTING college to get a job at his dad's place. And YES I do think he's a dumbass. I just thought it reflected well upon your most recent post. heh
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